Monday, July 30, 2018

and so it continues...

For most of my life I have struggled with body image issues.
Even when I was thin, I still felt fat.

As an adult, the struggle has been physical
(I've gained weight, I've lost weight)
as well as, an emotional one.

It's like riding a rollercoaster...the ups, the downs, the twists, and turns.
it really does damage not only your body, but your mind as well.

When you struggle with your weight, you will literally try almost anything.
If someone tells you that they lost weight standing on their head
three times a week for a month and lost twenty pounds
you think to yourself - well, if it worked for them
maybe it will work for me too.  
So you try it.

and of course you fail.
and when you fail, it damages your psyche.

You doubt yourself
You blame yourself
You shame yourself

And the next thing you know another new fad, or pill, or quick fix comes along
and there you go again - the cycle continues.
In a way I suppose, it's almost like an addiction.
(and I'm not talking about just a food addiction here)

The constant yo-yo doesn't just deal with the loss and gain of weight
but, with the loss and gain of yourself.

You all know what I mean.
It's brutal
no joke.

Through it all, you think you are alone in this battle.
Like you are the only one who struggles
and that no one really understands your story or what you are going through.
But you are not alone.

We are all in this together.
And while each of us has a different story to tell
we all need someone to share it with.
Someone who really gets it
Someone who has been in the trenches

Because even when we think we've won the war
we still need to fight the battle every day.

Every Single Day.

What's our motivation for basically torturing ourselves?

health
special occasion
self-image

whatever it is - it's much better to have someone in your corner
rather than face it alone, don't you think?


Everyone has a story
what's your's?


Sunday, July 08, 2018

catching up

It seems like all I do is catch up.
My life has gotten so busy.  It's hard to keep track of things, let alone write about them.

but here's a quick update on the kids...

Amanda (25) ~ who had moved back home for a while, just moved back out.
She found a place closer to work, about a half hour from home.  It's a cute little second story walk up.
One bedroom, kitchen, living room and bath.  Perfect size for her.  She now works as one of the managers of Outback Steakhouse.  She really seems to enjoy it.  Of course, she always did like being bossy (guess that comes with being the oldest of six), so it works well for her - haha! 

Anthony (24) ~ who also has his own little place, will be attending law school this fall.  He currently works as a server at Bob Evans and also clerks for a local attorney...basically being paid to intern, I guess.  He really seems to enjoy it.  He's been looking into purchasing his own home soon, hoping to find something closer to the school.

Sarah (20) ~ currently lives at home.  She recently re-enrolled in college and *I think* she is majoring in graphic design.  She also helps care for Rich, who hasn't been doing so well...talk more about that some other time.

Zachary (20) ~ also currently living at home, but hopes to move out sometime soon, works as a cook at Bob Evans.  He is thinking about enrolling in college as well.

Nicholas (16) ~ will be a junior in high school this fall.  I still can't believe it.  It almost seems unreal to me that not only he, but his siblings as well, are growing older and becoming so independent.  It's crazy to me.  Nick, just started a new job.  He was working for a local landscaper.  He now works as a stock boy at a local grocery store.  He really seems to like it, more so, he enjoys making his own money.  He has his learner's permit and he is literally driving me crazy.  haha! He's sort of passed the scary beginning stages of driving, but still has a long way to go until he's ready to take his driver's test.

Nathan (12) ~ soon to be 13...can you believe it ?!? I know I can't.  He will be in 8th grade this fall.  Seems like just yesterday when he was getting ready for kindergarten.  On a really weird note, it has been 12 or so years since I first started blogging. 

So, as for me, it seems like the last time I posted anything, I was still doing Nutrisystem and I left everyone sort of hanging.  With all the junk that I had going on, it was too hard to keep up with.  I know a lot of people said how hard could it be to just eat the food and exercise.  Well, that part wasn't hard at all, but trying to keep up with blogging about it in the midst of everything else going on in my life....it ended up just becoming overwhelming - between grieving the loss of my mom, graduating, college, caring for Rich, dealing with stress, and getting a new job....it was just too much.  I never should have added even more to the mess.  I really wish I would have waited until things calmed down, but you know how that goes, when you're a mom.  You think you can do everything....until you can't.  

.....and that's about all for now.
My hope is to get back on track and post more regularly.
fingers crossed that I can keep that promise.
  



Saturday, September 09, 2017

stupid steroids!

As I said last week, I managed to get sick and had to take both
antibiotics and steroids for the last few weeks.

At first, it was just a pound that I seemed to re-gain, however now, it's four total that
I ended up gaining back....making me 196 at the current moment.

All of which I am not the least bit happy about.

Of course, I'm no longer feeling cruddy and coughing non-stop,
nor do I feel like I can't catch my breath....so I guess I shouldn't really be complaining.

Things could be a whole lot worse.

you know, more important life things....like

dealing with flooding,
evacuating from a hurricane,
being pelted with rain.

So in the grand scheme of things....
a little bit of back tracking on the weight loss wagon, isn't so terrible after all.

Just need to work a little harder next time, right?

God Bless our southern neighbors!!! Be safe!

Until next time.....
My Stats

Starting weight -   Jan. 16, 2017 ---  212
                             Jan. 23, 2017 ---  207
                             Jan. 30, 2017 ---  208
                             Feb. 06, 2017 --- 207
                             Feb. 13, 2017 --- 206
                             Feb. 20, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 08, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 29, 2017 --- 202
                              Apr. 24, 2017 --- 200
                             May 17, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun. 19, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun. 27, 2017 --- 197
                           July 05, 2017 --- 197
                           July 12, 2017 --- 195
                           July 19, 2017 --- 193
                           Aug. 22, 2017 --- 192
                          Aug. 30, 2017 --- 192
                          Sept. 4, 2017 --- 193
                          Sept. 9, 2017 --- 196



**Disclosure ~ I will be receiving access to the website and food in exchange for reviewing the diet plan.  All opinions herein are my own and not influenced by Nutrisystem.   #ad #sponsored

Monday, September 04, 2017

Catching up again...


Life has been super busy now that school has started.
I imagine, most moms like me are struggling with piles of paperwork,
dealing with cranky kids and homework, getting dinner done in a timely manner, etc.

It's not easy....but then again, is it ever?

That being said, as most of you know, I am entering my first year
as a preschool assistant teacher....enter the germs.

I ended up getting sick the very first week - ugh!

I was prescribed antibiotics and steroids again - for my asthma.

I'm starting to feel much better now...thank goodness.

but those damn steroids give me the munchies, every damn time.

thankfully, I haven't gained too much, just a pound so far and I'm hoping it stays that way.

I'm also hoping that the sickies will stay away....far, far away.

until next time.....


My Stats

Starting weight -   Jan. 16, 2017 ---  212
                             Jan. 23, 2017 ---  207
                             Jan. 30, 2017 ---  208
                             Feb. 06, 2017 --- 207
                             Feb. 13, 2017 --- 206
                             Feb. 20, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 08, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 29, 2017 --- 202
                              Apr. 24, 2017 --- 200
                             May 17, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun. 19, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun. 27, 2017 --- 197
                           July 05, 2017 --- 197
                           July 12, 2017 --- 195
                           July 19, 2017 --- 193
                           Aug. 22, 2017 --- 192
                          Aug. 30, 2017 --- 192
                          Sept. 4, 2017 --- 193



**Disclosure ~ I will be receiving access to the website and food in exchange for reviewing the diet plan.  All opinions herein are my own and not influenced by Nutrisystem.   #ad #sponsored

Thursday, August 10, 2017

ups, downs, and in betweens

Well, I finally did it
The ever, elusive twenty pound goal

Yep, twenty pounds - finally.

It feels like it took forever, and well in my mind it did.

But, it was worth it.

Yes, I can say that now.

I think sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in the big picture.

Sometimes, we just need a reminder to slow down and take the baby steps
no matter how hard it may be.



My Stats

Starting weight -   Jan. 16, 2017 ---  212
                             Jan. 23, 2017 ---  207
                             Jan. 30, 2017 ---  208
                             Feb. 06, 2017 --- 207
                             Feb. 13, 2017 --- 206
                             Feb. 20, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 08, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 29, 2017 --- 202
                              Apr. 24, 2017 --- 200
                             May 17, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun. 19, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun. 27, 2017 --- 197
                           July 05, 2017 --- 197
                           July 12, 2017 --- 195
                           July 19, 2017 --- 193



**Disclosure ~ I will be receiving access to the website and food in exchange for reviewing the diet plan.  All opinions herein are my own and not influenced by Nutrisystem.   #ad #sponsored

Thursday, July 20, 2017

making progress




I'm so pleased to be making progress
I'm down another two pounds

Unbelievable!!!

I'm only one little pound away from losing 20 whole pounds
since I started using Nutrisystem. 

Remember, I did lose a little bit a weight before I started
using Nutrisystem.  When I first started trying to lose
weight I actually weighed 220 pounds.

However, my official starting weight
since starting Nutrisystem's diet program was 212 pounds.


To be totally honest, I have no idea what I'm
doing that is making a difference, but I'm
praying that it continues to work,
because it feels fantastic to actually be losing weight
and seeing the numbers on the scale go down.

I think a lot of it may just be the fact that I stopped
stressing out about it

I've been practicing yoga almost daily, which
helps me relax as well as helps me practice my breathing
(which is a major thing for my asthma - and it's helped some with that too).

I have been more active as well.
Not really exercising per say,
but I'm not just lounging around on my couch
like a slug, watching television all day.
That might be helping a bit as well.

Whatever it is, I'm not complaining that's for sure!

I can't really notice much of a difference in how I look,
but I figured I would share a recent picture, especially since I lost almost 20 pounds.


The picture on the left was taken the day I started the program.

                                   
                              212 pounds                                                                    193 pounds









































My Stats

Starting weight -   Jan. 16, 2017 ---  212
                             Jan. 23, 2017 ---  207
                             Jan. 30, 2017 ---  208
                             Feb. 06, 2017 --- 207
                             Feb. 13, 2017 --- 206
                             Feb. 20, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 08, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 29, 2017 --- 202
                              Apr. 24, 2017 --- 200
                             May 17, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun. 19, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun. 27, 2017 --- 197
                           July 05, 2017 --- 197
                           July 12, 2017 --- 195
                           July 19, 2017 --- 193



**Disclosure ~ I will be receiving access to the website and food in exchange for reviewing the diet plan.  All opinions herein are my own and not influenced by Nutrisystem.   #ad #sponsored

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

all in due time....

Sometimes it feels like forever before you start seeing
any type of results when it comes to weight loss.

It gets so frustrating that people often give up and quit.

But if you have just enough patience to wait it out
and keep trying, eventually the scale will budge.

That reminds me of the Winnie the Pooh classic movie
where Pooh gets stuck in Rabbit's hole

All his friends pull and push and Pooh just won't budge.

After given some time, he finally does it
a small budge...may not be much....but it's just enough to give you the hope you need to keep going.

I got that little bit of budge this week.

After being stuck at 197 for what feels like forever...
the scale finally budged.

I lost two pounds.

Go me!

just when you want to throw in the towel and give up,
a little bit of hope glimmers in the darkness.

My Stats
Starting weight -   Jan. 16, 2017 ---  212
                             Jan. 23, 2017 ---  207
                             Jan. 30, 2017 ---  208
                             Feb. 06, 2017 --- 207
                             Feb. 13, 2017 --- 206
                             Feb. 20, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 08, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 29, 2017 --- 202
                              Apr. 24, 2017 ---  200
                             May 17, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun. 19, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun. 27, 2017 --- 197
                           July 05, 2017 --- 197
                           July 12, 2017 --- 195



**Disclosure ~ I will be receiving access to the website and food in exchange for reviewing the diet plan.  All opinions herein are my own and not influenced by Nutrisystem.   #ad #sponsored



Sunday, July 09, 2017

the number forty

Finally made a break through and lost a pound this week - and then,
I gained it back....sigh!

Well, that's just par for the course, right?

I never believed the women who said losing weight after 40 is harder than when you are younger.
I sure believe them now.
Although I did seem to have it somewhat easier at 40 than I do five years later, at 45.

What is it with that damn number anyway?
Everything seems to start falling apart after 40.

40 - Ugh!



photo found on google images


There's that number again

40

in some ways life does get better once you turn 40


-you no longer give a crap about what other people think of you-
-you learn to accept yourself - faults and all-
-your skin looks and feels amazing - despite the wrinkles-
-you can do incredibly stupid things and not feel stupid for doing them-
-you seem to laugh more - at others, but especially at yourself-
-you have resiliency, you bounce back, and learn that if you really want something bad enough, you never, ever give up trying-
-you don't take life as seriously as you once did-
-you feel stronger, like you can overcome and conquer anything thrown your way-
-you no longer fear speaking in public - mostly because you don't care what others think of you-
-you realize that life is about taking chances, dancing in the rain, and knowing that you shouldn't take it for granted-


but in a lot of ways, life after 40, gets a little more complicated.


-your hormones start to change in your 40's-
-you get your boobs squished for your first of many mammograms at 40-
-you have new rolls on your midsection...rolls, that you didn't even know existed and it happens virtually overnight...like black voodoo magic.  You go to bed without them and wake up in the morning and hello - new belly roll....Like, where does it comes from-


ok, getting back on track...what else sucks about life after 40, you ask?


-your eyesight starts to go after 40...hello bifocals or reading glasses-
-it takes you literally forever to recover from any type of strenuous activity...vacation, long weekend off work, a night of drinking...ok, maybe that's just me....seriously, though!-
-you start to forget things or misplace things...and start googling for dementia symptoms-
-you enter the "menopausal" years....sounds pleasant, doesn't it?-


and the worst offender of all...gravity.....need I say more?


So what does this all have to do with my weight loss?

Eh, maybe nothing, maybe everything.
Maybe I'm just making excuses for not being able to lose
a simple, single pound.

I have an easier time losing my car keys, phone, or marbles, than I do at losing weight

BUT....

That doesn't mean that I'm going to quit trying.

I'm stronger than I think

I also never give up.

I don't give up if I want something bad enough

And a healthy lifestyle?

Yeah, I want that bad!

So, I'll keep trying.

I'll drink more water, I'll walk a little more, and I'll keep the faith.

faith in God and in myself.

I can do this!!

and you can too.

If you are following my journey - keep rooting for me
and I'll do the same for you.

In the meantime, check out this super yummy dinner by Nutrisystem.


Mmmm, doesn't that look delicious!?

And guess what - there's only 200 calories per serving.
and you feel full after you finish eating it.

The best part is - you don't have to cook!!



Until next time...


**Disclosure ~ I will be receiving access to the website and food in exchange for reviewing the diet plan.  All opinions herein are my own and not influenced by Nutrisystem.   #ad #sponsored





Tuesday, June 27, 2017

sweet summery drink recipes - plus a few little tips and other tidbits

Another week and I'm still stuck, but I have hope that things will change soon.
Never Give Up!
(that's one of my personal mottos)

It can be hard sometimes, when you are stuck and the scale won't budge,
but the important thing is to never give up.

Keep trying
(stay motivated - ask family and friends to help motivate and encourage you)

Change your diet a bit
(try eating your larger meals earlier in the day
or in the case of Nutrisystem food - switch your lunch with your dinner)

Walk a little longer
(try to go a little farther each day - or 5-10 mins. longer than the day before)

Find a partner or a workout buddy
(because everyone needs some encouragement and it's harder to say no to exercise if you have someone else counting on you to show up)

Drink more water
(caffeinated drinks can dehydrate you.  water helps make you feel full)

Eat a little more
(sounds crazy, but increasing some of your calorie intake
sometimes shakes your body up - giving it the boost it needs)

Now saying that - I'm not talking about eating that huge piece of chocolate cake you had your eye on
(although indulging once in a while is fine)
What I mean by increasing calories is eat another serving of veggies or something like that.

The point is, if you don't meet all your calorie requirements, your body may go into starvation mode.  Which means it will start storing fat because you body thinks you are starving it.


One such way to add a few extra calories - although I need to add a disclaimer here
normally, you shouldn't drink your calories....however, if you need a calorie boost now and then
you can do it by mixing up a fun, fruity drink.


Here are a few delicious drink recipes that were recently shared on Nutrisystem's website - the leaf.


Energy Smoothie

Photo is property of Nutrisystem


Servings: 2
Counts as 1 Smart Carb and 1 Extra

Ingredients:

1/2 cup orange juice
1 cup strawberries
1/2 banana
2 tsp honey
6 ice cubes

Directions:

Combine all ingredients in a blender.
Puree until smooth.

My review: 
* This drink was delicious.  I really liked it.  As far as energy though, I'm not sure if it was this drink or the coffee that I had around the same time that gave me a little boost.  I will definitely be making this one again.


Kiwi Strawberry Slushie

YouTube Video property of Nutrisystem and can be found on the Nutrisystem channel



Servings: 1
Counts as 1 Smart Carb

Ingredients: 

1 cup ice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1 medium kiwi, peeled and chopped
1 1/2 TBS lemon juice
1/2 cup water
1 packet Truvia natural sweetener

Directions:

Combine all the ingredients into a blender or food processor
Blend until ice is completely crushed and fruit is blended

My review:
*While, I enjoyed the flavor of this drink, all the little seeds from the fruit made it a bit too gritty (texture wise) for me.  Overall though, I liked it, but those darn seeds - ugh!! 



Here's a link to a few more refreshing summertime slushies....I haven't personally tried all of them, but they look super yummy!


Kiwi Strawberry Slushie (recipe posted above)


Photo is property of Nutrisystem




Photo is property of Nutrisystem




Photo is property of Nutrisystem




Photo is property of Nutrisystem


I haven't personally tried the last three slushies that I mentioned,
but they sound really good and they are added to my list of must tries.

I haven't shared any recent pictures of myself lately....mostly because I just feel so uncomfortable with how I look (as I know most you who also struggle with weight loss must feel at times).

But, here goes....

All I can say is I'll share this and others in the hopes that better ones will come soon enough!
For now, I'll keep celebrating the little victories, such as in total so far, I have lost
15 pounds on Nutrisystem and 23 pounds overall.

It hasn't been easy, but it's been worth it.



My Stats:

Starting weight -   Jan. 16, 2017 ---  212
                             Jan. 23, 2017 ---  207
                             Jan. 30, 2017 ---  208
                             Feb. 06, 2017 --- 207
                             Feb. 13, 2017 --- 206
                             Feb. 20, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 08, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 29, 2017 --- 202
                              Apr. 24, 2017 ---  200
                             May 17, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun 19, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun 27, 2017 --- 197


**Disclosure ~ I will be receiving access to the website and food in exchange for reviewing the diet plan.  All opinions herein are my own and not influenced by Nutrisystem.   #ad #sponsored



Monday, June 19, 2017

catching up

It's been a few weeks since I last checked in.

I haven't lost any weight during that time,
but I did manage to score a job right out of college.
which in these days is no easy feat.

It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
And because it's a job that I really love
being surrounded by happy smiles and lots of hugs
(aka - teaching pre-k kids)
A lot of stress has evaporated from my life.

Which hopefully means that less stress will help make it a little easier to lose weight 
as stress is so horrible when it comes to your health, not just when you are trying to lose weight.
Everything can get out of whack when you are dealing with stress.

Also, now that I'm no longer in college and I'm off work until this fall, I can totally
concentrate on relaxing (well, at least as much as a mom of 6 can relax )
and work on my physical health (more exercise).

Until next time here's my tally so far.

Starting weight -  Jan. 16, 2017 ---  212
                             Jan. 23, 2017 ---  207
                             Jan. 30, 2017 ---  208
                              Feb. 06, 2017 --- 207
                              Feb. 13, 2017 --- 206
                              Feb. 20, 2017 --- 204
                              Mar. 08, 2017 --- 204
                             Mar. 29, 2017 --- 202
                             Apr. 24, 2017 ---  200
                             May 17, 2017 --- 197
                            Jun 19, 2017 --- 197


**Disclosure ~ I will be receiving access to the website and food in exchange for reviewing the diet plan.  All opinions herein are my own and not influenced by Nutrisystem.   #ad #sponsored